More often than not, these little sparks of romance turn out to be nothing, but at least when you’re single, the not knowing won’t drive you crazy. Not shaving, and sparing those extra 15 minutes in the morning just because you don’t feel like it, is the luxury of the single person. And if, at midnight, a friend calls and invites you to come out, you can just go. You can ignore all phone calls and basically disappear from the world, without feeling too neglectful or guilty. Sleeping Diagonally On The Bed Can we just like, let go of the illusion that sharing a bed with someone is actually comfortable? But having an entire bed to yourself is friends, no? Guiltless Flirting Flirting is one of life’s simplest pleasures, and easiest confidence boosters. Better Brunch Stories Your crazy, roller coaster dating stories make you the most popular person at brunch. The Opportunity To Check Out All Those “What-Ifs” A random person you meet at a party, an acquaintance you’ve had a crush on forever, maybe even a co-worker: when you’re single, you can pursue these “what-ifs” and see where they lead. Your legs, your beard, or any other part of your body. ”, said in a faux-complaining voice and regretful smiles as you head out the door. Conversely, if you want to spend an entire weekend ensconced in your room, and watch Seasons 1-4 of the West Wing, and order delivery, and sleep all afternoon, and wear your rattiest sweatpants, and stalk people on facebook cause you’re just in that kind of mood, you can.Here and elsewhere you can find hundreds of articles offering advice for starting relationships, thriving in relationships, ending relationships, and recovering after a relationship ends.Largely absent from these conversations are those who avoid relationships or are too uncomfortable to express their feelings while in a relationship.You tend to kind of not care about anyone else as much as you should.
It is not yet complete (and will continue to be a work in progress), so please do let me know what I’ve missed.I’d also like to provide their partners (when they exist) a lens through which to better understand the experience of being with someone uncomfortable with connection.Here are five of the many reasons people avoid relationships: 1.A few months ago, a reporter asked me if I kept a list of scientifically-documented ways in which it is better to be single than married. I have been so busy being defensive—arguing again and again that no, getting married will not make you happier and it will not make you healthier and it will not make you live longer and it will not doom your kids and it will not make your social networks blossom—that it rarely occurred to me that I should be systematically making the more pro-active case.There are ways, grounded in research, that single people do better than married people.And if, at four am, you feel like getting a slice of pizza, or a whole pizza, you can, no problem. You can enjoy eating without feeling the pressure of making a meal a big production. You Can Have Sex With Someone Else If You Want To People in relationships can’t. Privacy People always say that one of the pleasures of being in a relationship is finding someone with whom you can always be yourself, and do anything in front of. Single people can decide on last minute trips, afterwork plans, or impromptu weekend activities without checking with anyone. First Dates First dates are scary, and they don’t always turn out well, but they’re always, always laced with possibility.