But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win.
The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy.
Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with.
But maybe she's not attracted to her husband anymore and is wondering if she's a lesbian.And if that's you, be prepared for things to get hard.Don't expect it to be easy or for the wife to depart her marriage without a lot of hesitating, questioning and making false promises along the way. She's likely to be unhappy in her relationship with her husband and trying to figure out how to feel better about it all.Your own survival is crucial, and if you do happen to fall in love with a married man, there are several hard truths you need to know. The needs of the many (namely, his family) will always outweigh your needs.His family will always come first, and that includes his wife. The beginning of an affair is romantic and naughty at the same time.Her close circle of friends might know about her affair, but she really cannot let anyone else, such as colleagues or her family, know.